Diversity or Difference

Last night I had my class "Christian Ministry in a Violent World" and we got into a little bit of a debate about difference and diversity. We read an article that dealt a bit with the theme of ethnic purity that plays out in various Old Testament passages (yes, we really do refer to the bible in seminary), particularly in Deuteronomy where there are many laws about purity and practice of religion - espeically in differentiating the Israelites from "those nasty Canaanites." it got us into a discussion about how people tend to understand who they are - identity is formed by being the same as something/someone or by differentiating from something/someone. In this case in the OT, Israelites understood their identity as being different from the Canaanites. How do you understand your identity?? I had to think about it for a while, and I think I use both differentiation and similarities to understand who I am, but it's ever more complicated than that. Identity changes every day - my mood affects how I see myself and how I relate to those around me. Likewise, the Israelites relationship with the people around them changes throughout time and throughout the Bible. But we could go on there for a long time, so back to class...

After this conversation about identity, we had a conversation about how differences aren't necessarily a bad thing to establish identity; sometime we value those differences and choose to find people that are different in order to do things better (for example, looking at the Meyers Briggs personality profiles, we learn that we need to work with people who are different types so that things get done more efficiently). The questions I have is this: Where is the line between highlighting the differences that are good and those that are bad? Is it simply a question of which traits are seen as "good" although different, and "bad" and different?

To put this into some context, there is an email out there that keeps getting circulated that claims to have information on the Qur'an, that there is a verse 9:11 (note the numbers) which refers to an eagle (the national bird and symbol of the US) wiping out Mohammed. This claim is made along with other references to Muslims as being blood thirsty warriors who should know better than to take on the US, yadda yadda yadda... It makes a lot of generalizations about Islam, the Qur'an, and then the passage that it quotes isn't even real. The actual passage in surrah 9, paragraph 11 is talking about reconciliation and has no mention of an eagle anywhere. This email does a great job of making Muslims "other" - soemthing NOT us. The fact is that the email gets spread around all the time, and the only reason it keeps spreading is because people don't know any better and assume that it's true - if we knew more about Islam and the Qur'an, we would know it wasn't a valid message and it would get deleted. Where is the line?? Why are some differences valued while others get trumped up and played in politics?? And what about Muslims that live in this country - how are we treating them? Do we bother to get to know them or just make assumptions based on the generalizations we hear? Isn't this also part of what happens between races and political parties?

Do you know your potential?

I saw a movie today - the first in a while - that has me thinking. It was "Lady in the Water" by M. Night Shamylan and I really liked it. It's different than his previous movies - a lot more humor, almost poking fun at himself at times, and based on a bedtime story. Of course, his movies always have some bigger, "universal" themes to them, and this one dealt with people understanding who they are and living up to their potential. If you haven't seen it, I don't want to give anything away, but there are several characters who are challenged by things that they are asked to do, or we in the church might say, are "called" to do. The main character in particular doesn't see himself as much of anything but gets called upon to do great things that he think he is unable or unfit to perform. Likewise, the female lead doesn't believe she is able or brave enough to fulfill her role - she says that the others make fun of her because she's usually clumsy. I wonder how many of us feel that same way...

When I made the decision to come to seminary, it wasn't so much about the job I would be doing when I was done but about the experience of studying theology itself. I love seminary - the learning and conversations that wouldn't happen anywhere else. I thrive on it, but I have no idea what comes next. Am I being called to something great? Who knows?! Right now I'm just trying to complete classes and graduate in May, but there has to be something next. I need to find a job to be commissioned as a Deaconess in April, but I don't even know what kind of job I want. I keep saying that I don't want to preach, that I'm not meant to be a pastor, and the truth is I think I'd be horrible at being a pastor. I don't have enough patience or interest in the business side of things (to begin the list). However, I also have to admit that I'm terrified of preaching. I've never done it before, and my adamant denials that I'll preach probably come as much out of fear of success as they do from lack of experience. I don't want to be a good preacher - and yet it's not my choice. I'm in preaching class this semester, so we'll see what happens with it. I don't know if it means anything, whether I'm good or bad at it...
So what are you afraid of? What do you think you could have been had you not held yourself back? Do you think you are called to something beyond what you are now?

Reflections

I apologize for this, but I need to let this out and with Angela gone, you guys are who I have to talk to. This is not going to be an uplifting post - or even a rant.

We're inundated with 9/11 anniversary stuff - tv specials, news spots, radio, etc. I'm having a really hard time tonight and generally just try to ignore all the hype around me. There was a piece on tv tonight with Robert DeNiro hosting (I don't know which channel it was) - it began as a documentary of a probationary firefighter with the camera crews shooting in the firehouse that day so that it quickly turned into a documentary about 9-11 itself. I didn't intend to watch it, but had been looking for local news to see if the NCCJ Walk as One was on there (I walked with the SPST crew and there were a bunch of news cameras out) and I just got sucked in.

It was amazing - good and bad. To see so many firefighters afraid, freaked out, crying, puking, etc. was just unsettling. I used to work 911 dispatch and I couldn't help but imagine that they were any of my Midwest City guys, or even Angela's cousin who works for Oklahoma City FD. As much as the OKC bombing left an imprint on me, I know this was something so much more devastating in quantity, although perhaps not in emotional turmoil for those working the events themselves. My mom is a civil engineer and happened to work for a company hired by the Port Authrity of NY. She used to regularly attend meetings in the World Trade Center and even though she wasn't there that day, she could have been and knew plenty of people who were. I wonder how my mom is doing, but don't want to ask her about it. I'm not sure I want to hear it and I'm not sure I want to push her to talk about it.

A few months later, in December of 2001, we went to NJ for Christmas and spent a day in NYC. My family regularly made the 2 hour drive to see a Broadway show or do Christmas shopping and I remember very clearly gasping at the gap in the skyline as we came up to the city on the highway. Little did I know that our day in NYC would be the last full day I'd spend with my dad. He died in a motorcycle accident down the street from his home on December 23rd. It's strange that 9-11 and my dad's death get linked so closely together, when logically I know there was not connection.

5 years - it seems so long and like only yesterday. I had worked a night shift in dispatch the night before, so I got home around 7:30 am and went to bed. A phone call around 9:30 (10:30 Eastern) woke me up - a friend asking if Angela was being called up as part of her Search and Rescue group or the National Guard. We didn't know what she was talking about and turned on the tv to just stare in horrow for the next hour. Angela's birthday is September 12th and I had been planning a surprise birthday party for her that night (her 25th) - the party kind of fizzled out although a bunch of us did get together. Now we're at her 30th birthday and she's overseas in a war we never imagined back then. Who knows what another 5 years will bring....

To all those who lost their lives, their family and friends, their health (physical or mental), and their feeling of security, may God grant us all peace and comfort as we grieve and remember that horrifying day. May we also remember that there are people in the world who deal with that kind of fear and destruction every day...

Checking in...

I didn't want anyone to think I went away or anything. The fact that Big Unit has the last comment on the previous post has not gone unnoticed. :) With the school year starting up again, my partner leaving the country, allergies and a killer cold, and the upcoming wedding of my mother (in October) things have been a little hectic. Of course, life is often hectic so I'm putting in this brief word to let you all know that I'm ok and to remind each of us to take the time we need for ourselves and those things that are most important to us. If I happen to be home in the afternoon, I like to watch the Ellen DeGeneres show and she's been doing something really neat for the kickoff of her 4th season. She has this thing called a Lifelist - things that people want to do before they die. Why do we wait until we think death may be near? What things would you put on your life list? I'll have to think some more but off the top of my head - parasailing and travelling to Jerusalem and the Great Pyramids. Can't wait to see what else you guys come up with...