Home stretch

Sorry for the recent lack of posts - things have been pretty crazy here with all of the end of term papers, graduation plans, group meetings, and trying to get the house ready for guests and family coming from out of town. Whew! Things are not ready yet, but hey, I've got three more days! Thursday is the beginning of the festivities with our senior chapel service (although I don't really know why they call us "Seniors" - there are a lot of people NOT on the four year plan and we're all a variety of ages) and then rehearsal for the ceremony. How long do you think it takes 50 seminary graduates to figure out how to line up alphabetically by degree?? They've scheduled us for 20 minutes but I'm guessing it will be more like 30 minutes - even if just to account for those people who arrive 5-10 minutes late. :) After that the family arrives and the real fun begins. Thankfully, they are staying at a hotel and getting rental car to share - not that I don't want my folks to stay with me but mom and husband, brother and girlfriend, plus friends from college and I'm going to be very grateful to have my own home as a refuge at the end of the day. I'm fairly extroverted but these kinds of things take their toll.

Friday is the long day of festivities - class picture around noon, then buffet luncheon with the whole gang on campus. We're supposed to be at the church at 3 but they tell us the luncheon goes until 2:30, so no breather there. The ceremony starts at 4 (so I guess this time they expect it will take us an hour to make the same line we're only doing in 20 minutes on Thursday) and is supposed to go until 5:30 (it's the commencement ceremony and a chapel service combined). Afterwards there's a reception of cookies and punch - a chance for your professors to meet your family and let them all put faces with the names you've been talking about for the last 4-or-however-many years, schmooze with the president and board of trustees folks, etc. Ugh. Meanwhile I'll be wearing a lined black robe over my dress, in heels that I only wear a couple of times a year. Doesn't this sound like a blast?? Don't be jealous!! Hee hee!

I think what I'm most looking forward to is the dinner/party on Friday evening. Several of us that are graduating are bringing our family and friends to one church's fellowship hall to have lasagna and cake. Well, there will be more than just that, but those are the highlights. :) There's going to be about 65 people, and none of us will know everyone, but we'll all have all of our closest people there. Awwwwww. Plus I'll get to change into comfortable clothes and just be for a while, perhaps finally getting to the point where I can celebrate.

It hasn't really hit me yet, that this phase of things is over, that seminary is really done. I love it hear and haven't found a job to "move along" into. I'm wanting to linger here, but know I need to move on, that there are other things that need to be done and that change is the only way to continue to grow. Why does it have to be so hard? Is there more to this feeling than the generally uncertainty of what comes next? Is there some resentment that I'm not getting ordained like everyone else who gets this degree?? Too much to think about and process (besides, that's what I pay my counselor for), so for now I'll try to focus on the fact there are classes going on around me this week, but I have no more papers to do or grades to receive. That's right - my last paper was turned in yesterday (the beauty of email) and my grades were turned in this afternoon. I am graduating with a 3.59 overall GPA (not too shabby, and I think this may allow me to do a PhD program someday should that be the path I end up following). It's a hard thing to do - to focus on the positive and not worry about all the things that need to be done tomorrow.