gulp

I'm writing my first ever sermon right now - I have to give it for my preaching class Monday afternoon. Most of the people in my class are pastors of churches already and preach sermons every Sunday - I've never been and don't see myself ever being a pastor and have never preached at all. Growing up Catholic, I never had a "youth Sunday" where I got to help plan a service or anything - preaching was certainly not an option. I remember the first time I went to a United Methodist church and saw a woman preaching and how strange that was for me - not good or bad, but very different. Pastors and priests had never seemed all that different before then, but suddenly options that hadn't ever been considered became real possibilities.

When I changed my major to religion (from vocal music) in college, I really didn't know what I was going to do with it. There was no reason why, other than I knew I wasn't happy in the music department and when I went on my first mission trip I had an amazing spritual/emotional/gut reaction. I consider it to be my call to ministry of some kind. I knew that the work I was doing and the people I was doing it with were special and there was more that I could be doing with my life. I don't know that I've gotten much beyond that point wiht my call - I don't see myself as a pastor but there's no reason that whatever we do in life can't be considered a minstry if we have that intention. That being said, I'm in seminary and have chosen to get an MDiv (Masters of Divinity) - the same degree that pastors receive. Which means I have to learn how to preach. I don't know what I'm going to do with this degree (it's not required to be commissioned as a deaconess) but I've loved seminary until this class. This I'm dreading. Wish me luck and there will be reflections next week...